Parenting comes in different forms. Not just parents to your biological children but to your nephews and nieces as well. Being parents does not mean giving birth to them. Seeing them growing up with your nurture and care are two words best describes parenthood though. But in a case where parenting to a child of your spouse is a different story; it is a choice, a challenge and a commitment packaged as one.
In a traditional setting a couple spends years developing their own relationship and planning new additions but the creation of a step family is immediate. Just as two unique individuals decide to come together as a couple, the children they introduce bring their own uniqueness to the mix. A major difference, however, is that they are often thrust into membership in this new society without consent. The circumstances that ended the union of their biological parents and the conditions of their lives during the interim between remarriages will surely impact the future.
This is where step parenting comes in. It occurs when your spouse bore a child out from previous relationship or a failed marriage. Most likely, failed marriages produce more impact to why step parenting is up. It might be challenging for most of the parents but through a proper process, step parenting can be as easy as parenting itself.
Issues of step parenting
What could be the issues that are up to step parenting? The 40% survival rate for second and subsequent marriages is staggering. What is the connection of step parenting to marriage? Basically, you can’t have a step child not unless marriage fails. The fact that success is less likely than that of first marriages defies the wisdom that practice causes perfection. In most of the countries, failed marriages contribute too much in juvenile delinquencies. What are some of its implications? There is not enough parenting skills applied since the family is not ideal as it should be; a father and a mother who guide their children. Secondly, attention- seeking behaviour of a child should also be given importance. Children who have these issues are likely the ones who have traumas in their early childhood life.
Occasionally, these children grow together with their nuclear families. They are given away to their grandparents who have different way of growing them up. Some of them are stay with their parents’ siblings where competition exists against their cousins. According to research, statistics indicate the number of step families to be almost equal to that of nuclear families in America, yet, there is no one-size-fits-all method for creating and maintaining a successful blend.
Challenges of step parenting
This is a challenge for a step parent. It does not follow that being good parents mean only to biological children. What is more exciting is committing to fostering good relationships with your step child. By creating a good rapport, this will give you better chances to guide if not control the situation. There are also other concerns to consider for step parenting. Not just adjustments towards you as parents but also to your biological children who seek more attention if not the same with the step ones. Everyone should go to a better and strong family tie to help ease the pressures. As a parent, it is your responsibility to oversee the orderliness of your family and to your spouse who has a greater accountability over his child who happens to be your step child at this instant. Your valiant efforts to parent another’s child should equal in maintaining a strong relationship with your own children.
In agreeing to become a step parent you signed up to take an often rocky but rarely impossible road. Married life does not guarantee you happy moments, it also brings painful times especially choosing to commit yourself with this. What will define your uniqueness will be whether you choose to give up or to take the high-road of growing your own character as a nurturer, a provider, a spouse and a step parent as one.
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